Before we dive into the stories of Room 40, let me talk about parenting during this time.

I have two lovely children, a boy and a girl. Before we told them about my illness and I was admitted to the hospital, we had no idea how much they could understand, or what to expect. They are 12 and 8.

We must have done something right… now looking back … I am so proud of my family.

It starts with the partnership

It’s not just about the kids — it’s also about how well you work with your partner. I am super lucky that my husband knows exactly what kind of support I need. He stayed clam and loving, and kept feeding us with the best home foods (He is really good at cooking!!!~).

We kept that warm, relaxed and happy vibe under the roof. Nothing felt different!

One sunny afternoon, my husband brought kids back from school and they gave me a BIG hug. I knew instantly daddy had told them.

He must have said something like, “Mommy was sick and needed treatment in the hospital. What mommy needs the most now is your love and support.”

My 8-year-old daughter asked, “at least we could visit you, right?” I told her, “Of course! Daddy will take you to visit mommy every week”

She smiled.

I want to protect their normal.

I mentioned in my last post that I immediately started planning my kids’ activities. My goal was to keep their routine as much as possible — and not to burn out daddy. Our extend families live aboard so it’s just four of us. But we are grateful that our friends stepped up to help.

So they barely missed a single activity. (Boy! they have a lot!) Even on the day before I was admitted, we went to my daughter’s piano recital and participate my son’s best friend’s birthday party.

We chose not to tell their school — not the teachers, not the staffs, not other parents. I didn’t want to disrupt the normalcy of their day to day. I knew they wouldn’t want to become the center of attention … just like their mom.

Visiting mommy is a new routine!

After I settled into room 40, they always looked forward visiting. They’d brought me home foods, milk tea, stuffs I needed — it became part of their responsibilities too. We played cards and board games together. Sometimes I gave in and allowed a little extra screen time.

I hung their artworks and awards on the wall. They didn’t say much about it but I knoew they were proud. Mommy just knows!

Keep them in the loop

It’s actually also fun talking to them about my treatment. They quickly picked up on platelets, red blood cell, white blood cell, bone barrow biopsy, chemo and etc. We like the game of guessing mommy’s platelet counts each day.

Sometimes I’d say, “Guess what I learned about bone barrow transplant today! Isn’t it amazing that the chemo can do this now? …”

Or, “It must’ve been so exciting when the scientists figured this out…”

We kept them involved. We shared the game plan. They showed us how well they could handle and how much they cared.

Oh — Almost forgot. I let them shaved my head. If I am losing my hair away, why don’t we turn it into a family project!